We’ve all been there. Man’s favorite splurt. We’ll blurt out your words as soon as you speak ’em. Once poked, twice blinded.

A brace of birds makes a fine kettle of fish. Cover the ears of the little ones with cotton batting. Plug their noses with mint julep. Stop up their behinds with tar and feathers. If they so much as open their gills give them a good licking.