Mister President, we have three more prisoners of war.
Bring ‘em on.
Crick is a prisoner of the war on drugs.
Hang by the neck.
Warsh is a prisoner of the war on poverty.
Life sentence, three generations.
Shem is a prisoner of the war on terror.
Molotov cocktail.
Thank you Mister President, and God bless.
Author Archives: Xenomanes
Thinking on my feet
I’m not used to thinking on my feet. Okay I’ll have extra cheese.
Pope Francis best dressed
The first Pope from the New World. Born 17 December 1936, Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Esquire has named Pope Francis as its Best Dressed Man of 2013 for his simpler vestments, in tune with a modern simplistic design on sartorial fashion.
Sorbonistes arise
Niggers, kikes, wops and fags,
We call you with our dying breath.
Block heads, camel jockeys, fatsos, spics,
Would you be so kind as to walk our dog?
Assholes, jerks, cunts and pussies,
Come to the aid of your country.
Serial killers, suicide bombers, war criminals and torturers,
We hold your truths to be self evident,
That few man are created equal.
Not to speak of all women, for they may further the way.
The way of all cunts.
You fucking cock-suckers.
Results of your recent sigmundoscopy
The procedure reveals that you hold a doctor’s degree in subcutaneous philology. That fear of appearing to be retentive has given you a complex, even an imaginary number of neurons. All the universes in string theory don’t provide enough elbow room for the youngsters’ viruses.
Calling all alpha males. It’s the time of the month for your beta-kerosene rebarbatives.
Source code
Eft wildre mealwan seawes þry lytle bollan fullan.
— Leechdoms, Wortcunning, and Starcraft of Early England
Hyoscyamus, when taken by a person in health, produces disorder of the nervous system
—Penny cyclopædia of the Society for the diffusion of useful knowledge
Adolphus Augustus
We would like to welcome the august Dr. Augustus to the board of directors of XPPQ assuming the position of Unauditable Financial Officer, with foresight over the Girl Guide Cookies sector.
Tension
It’s all about maintaining the right tension, said the fiddler to the ventriloquest. Sometimes I’m tighter than Dick’s hatband.
This in itself might be construed as a home invasion, but is it an act of terrorism? Only the members of the Warren Buffet commission and their secret police know for sure. Court records show nothing besides the fall of the middleman who didn’t watch his back, and the rise of the average woman with a yeast infection. It’s all in the wallpaper of record. Look around yourself.
In the future, domain names will become as precious minerals
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Fancy that
He fancied himself a great lover, and maybe he was because his noodle was almost bald.
He fancied himself a doctor of divinity, but he could never get the hang of the mother church.
He fancied himself endowed with as much common sense as anyone in the land, and the truth of this could be rigourously proved to be the case. Except where prohibited by law.